Summary 

If you’ve ever found yourself deep-cleaning the kitchen or running “quick” errands instead of doing the thing you actually planned to do… this episode is for you.

You’ll learn how the freeze stress response quietly drives procrastination — especially for high-achieving women who are constantly in motion. You’ll see how perfectionism and pressure can make you feel stuck even when you’re busy, and how to finally catch those moments where you’re “doing everything except the thing.”

Learn more about The Unstoppable Group: https://www.burnstressloseweight.com/

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

• How procrastination can disguise itself as productivity
• The hidden thought that keeps you stuck in indecision
• Why your brain feels safer waiting than acting
• How to tell the difference between a real break and a “freeze” break
• A simple 4-step tool to get unstuck and take action today

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Featured on the Show:

• Want to work with me? Learn about The Burn Stress, Lose Weight Group by clicking here.  
• Catch the first two episodes of this mini-stress series by clicking here and clicking here.
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Download the full transcript here.

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  Hey, my unstoppable friends. Welcome back to the Burn Stress, Lose Weight podcast, where we are bringing back the miniseries that's going to help you leverage Q4 this last quarter of the year where we likely have a lot more stresses than most parts of the year with a full calendar social events, a lot happening in work and at home. That's going to help you bring back control over this last season of the year where most of us gain the most amount of weight. The reason that I decided to bring back this miniseries is because it is one of these four stress archetypes that is deeply impacting your ability to lose weight when it is a challenging season. The holidays are the perfect time to really think about where one of these stress archetypes is playing a role for you. Because if you can learn how to lose the weight you want to lose in this season, which is. Full of social gatherings, holiday events, everything that's happening in your career and at home, then you actually get the skill for life. I want you to have the longest runway in you feeling your best, and I'm here to help you get a headstart if you're brand new to me. Hello and welcome. I'm Dr. Priyanka Venugopal. I'm an OBGYN physician turned stress and weight loss coach for professional women who self-identify as overachievers. I would say that if you identify as an overachiever, you likely experience more stress than the average bear, and it's especially important for you to really understand the role that stress is having in your ability to achieve your body goals. As I share in this entire series, stress on its own is not a bad thing, and also telling yourself to just stress less is not an effective strategy. This miniseries is bringing together story and science so that you can understand how to catch your patterns in real time and have a roadmap on actually getting unstuck on and off the scale. Today is secretly one of my most favorite stress types to talk about, which is the procrastinator. I get into this podcast episode, the procrastinator from my car, because I recorded this episode while I was procrastinating. If you're enjoying this miniseries, I would absolutely love it if you could share this episode with a friend or in your local community with any other professional woman that you know is living a stressful life because she has her career, she has home, the family, the holidays. She's trying to navigate all of it, and you want to help her feel a little bit more unstoppable. Without further ado, let's get into today's episode, which is all about the freeze response or what I'm calling the procrastinator. If you hear the occasional beeping or car, it's because I'm out and about as I record this, and what the intention of this four-part series is, is to understand when we can figure out what is actually in the way of being consistent 100% of the time, we will start to be able to solve the real problem. If you have not yet heard the first few episodes in this miniseries, I suggest you pause here and you go start at the very beginning and really so that you understand the foundational core principles of what we are talking about. But in a nutshell, we are addressing the four stress types that ever drive the smart, resourceful, high achiever to ever snack, nibble, graze, go off plan in little and big moments. In this miniseries, we are covering the four stress types, which is fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. So we've already covered flight, which is hiding or basically sticking your head in the sand from engaging with an uncomfortable situation, a real life circumstance that you feel stress with. We talked about last week the fight to response, which is when you feel like you just deserve a break or weight loss should be easier when you have some righteousness around your weight loss journey or even some scarcity. We talked about how that will trigger your fight response. And then today we are talking about the freeze response, which I'm going to call the procrastinator. Freeze is a really interesting stress type, especially as it applies to the busy professional mom who is often not realizing how much you are in freeze because you're a resourceful, smart overachiever, you are actually going a hundred miles an hour. So it's like, how can I be in freeze when I feel like my life feels so chaotic? I'm constantly on the go? You're probably making hundreds of decisions per day, both in the workplace and personally in your personal life with your kids, with your family. So you might wonder like, how can I be in freeze when I feel like I'm going a hundred miles an hour? The way that freeze shows up for the professional working mom is indecision, rumination, second guessing, and for if you're anything like me, it will show up as procrastination under the guise of productivity. Today is actually a perfect example. So I'm about to leave on a trip and I am, I have planned out my entire week, right? I have planned out the structure of my week when I want to record these podcast episodes, when I want to get certain work done that I need to get done before my trip, and part of the planning was for me too record this podcast episode on procrastination for all of you. Now, when it came down to executing on the plan, I had some thoughts that drove me to feel frozen, that drove me to feel that freeze stress cycle response, which ended me in a CVS parking lot. We're going to use the think, feel, act cycle, because none of our actions happened in a vacuum. I didn't just end up in the CVS parking lot because I really, really needed to get this laundry detergent that I have. I ended up here because of a feeling that I was having about getting the work done around executing on the plan that I made for myself and the feeling that I was having was I was feeling stuck. Now, I want all of us to really think about this because as a smart, resourceful woman, you don't necessarily identify as someone who gets stuck because you're a doer. You're resourceful. You end up figuring it out. But I want us all to really just take this through the lens of how much longer are we spending on solving real life problems, getting real work done, done, and dusted. Because we are second guessing, ruminating, spending any time wanting to perfect some of the work that we wanna get done because I care so much about this series and what Burn Stress, Lose Weight as a podcast means to me and the impact that I wanted to have for all of you. I noticed some of my own inner perfectionist thoughts coming up around this specific episode, the sentences that I was telling myself, I had thoughts like I want to phrase this just right. I really want for people to feel impacted by the message of this podcast. I want to do a really good job. I shared just a couple of real life thoughts that I was having for this specific podcast episode, but the thoughts that I have noticed coming up for smart, high achieving women, that makes them feel a lot of pressure and maybe makes you feel stuck are thoughts that are laced in perfectionism. Even if you don't identify as a perfectionist, as someone who is a smart, resourceful, professional woman, you likely have some flavor of wanting to quote unquote, get it just right. You want to pick the best strategy. You want to make the best decision. You want to execute on your plan perfectly. You want to JENGA block your calendar so that everything fits exactly right. So a sentence that you might tell yourself, the thought you might have is, I want to get it just right, or some flavor of that, really check in with yourself. Sounds good on paper, but how does this actually feel in my body? For me, that type of sentence, which I tell myself all the time as a mom in my business with work in my relationships, I want to get it just right. For me, creates the feeling of pressure. And when I feel pressure and I'm not aware of it, and I'm living kind of in my unconsciousness, I revert to a lot of the habits that I learned actually in my education. In going through school, college, medical school, residency, I learned at a really young age that I have to get it just right. I have to pick the best answer I learned from that place of pressure. That overworking really led for me to have a lot of solid results, right? I got through medical school, I passed role boards. I became a board certified physician. With that sentence in my mind of I have to get it just right, I need to do a really good job. My perfectionistic thoughts were really rewarded in my educational upbringing. But the trouble is when you really take that thought, I need to get it just right, I have to do my best. If I don't execute perfectly, then I'm really going to fail. That feeling of pressure is also what is driving our overworking in our mind. So if you're someone that's like, I just wanna be done thinking about this, this is a big part of the problem. Now it's totally possible that you procrastinate on executing your plan simply because you just wanna break. Right? We, this is kind of going back to the flight stress cycle. The the way that I want all of us to think about procrastinating from a freeze standpoint, from a freeze stress cycle response is because you find yourself in. Indecision. So today's example's, perfect. I made a plan to record this podcast episode to have it done, to have it sent off, and I noticed myself having a lot of thoughts. I wanna get it just right. I really want to deliver a high quality episode. I really want it to be impactful. And I started to feel a lot of pressure, the pressure to get it right, and because of that, I found myself ruminating and writing a draft and writing some notes. I'm like, oh, this is not just right. This is not capturing what I wanted to capture and what my brain did. In that moment because I did not want to stay an indecision. I wanna just not think about it anymore. I was like, oh yeah, we need laundry detergent from CVS. Let's go take a little break because maybe later I will have magically figured this out. When we are unaware of this tendency, and this is just a habit to where we kick off that feeling, we feel pressure, we feel stuck. We end up kicking a decision that we could make right now work that we could just execute on right now. We could just put in the rep just to do it. We kick it off to later, and I know that in the moment, sometimes procrastinating feels really good, right? It felt really good, i'm gonna be honest. I'm sitting here in CVS, like I love CVS. I love Staples. I love Target. I love going to these shops. I love going to run errands because it does feel like a break for, for my brain. It feels like a break from my life, right? So yes, it does feel temporarily, momentarily good to not stretch your brain 'cause your brain is being stretched to make that decision. Your brain is being stretched to put the words onto paper. Your brain is being stretched to execute on the plan. Your brain is being stretched to finish that project that you said you were going to finish. Action actually is uncomfortable. It did feel good for me to say, I'm gonna just take a break with CVS and get some laundry detergent 'cause I have to do that anyway. Right? It has to be productive. That's why I call it procrast to working. It felt productive for me to do that, but at the same time, I was able to catch while I was driving here actually. I'm like, Ooh, Priyanka, this is procrastination at its finest the way. Procrastination or this freeze response shows up with weight loss is you never feel fully committed to your plan. Either you don't make a plan at all, you might find yourself in researching more and more Googling the next thing, going plan after plan PDF after PDF, and never actually commit two one specific fat burning weight loss strategy. So that might be you, where you're not able to actually make the decision itself on the plan. But the second piece of where this freeze cycle response comes in is to take that plan and now put it into execution, you're going to find all of the very convenient, convincing, and very compelling reasons and justifications to take breaks from executing your plan. The way that the Think Feel, Act cycle shows up in a freeze stress cycle response, or what I'm calling the procrastinator, is you'll have a thought like I have to get it just right. I have to choose perfectly. I need the absolute best strategy. I have like some flavor of perfectionism around you needing to choose perfectly to have results. Otherwise, why put in your full effort, right? You're going to feel this pressure or even feeling stuck, and the actions that you're going to take is you'll never make a decision. You'll stay in indecision and then ruminate and ruminate and ruminate on it, and you'll keep kicking off the decision to later. Now, here is, here's the trouble with this. Not only does this drive us to not have a solid fat burning action plan, which you need to lose the weight you want, you'll keep on feeling that pressure. The pressure will feel like it's following you around like a dark cloud. Your brain when it procrastinates, when it stays indecision, when it kicks off a decision you could make today to tomorrow when it comes to CVS to get the laundry detergent, rather than just sit down and execute on the plan that you said you were going to do, your brain learns something, your brain learns that this problem is a little bit too much for me. There's another sneaky lesson that our subconscious learns every time we procrastinate, and that is that we have to feel good to make high level decisions that we have to feel calm or confident or certainty or peace or maybe inflow to execute on your plan. And this is going to be the part of you that creates a very convincing, convenient story that you just need more motivation, that you just need to feel good, that you just need to be more confident before you can execute on the plan. Your most primitive brain, that part of you that wants to not expend any effort or energy. Gets rewarded. So part of staying in this think, feel, act cycle that is driven by the freeze response, driven by a need to pick the perfect plan, execute perfectly, have the absolute best strategy, do it the exact right way, that creates a feeling of pressure While it feels really useful, it feels like it's so productive because maybe it created some results for you in the past. It is also creating a freeze response with you hitting your body goal. It is making you kick the plan to tomorrow. It is making you wait season after season. You will find the most convincing reasons to not take action today on your plan. I want to use today as such a vivid example, such a tangible example with my CVS laundry detergent in hand, how I use the ABCD bridge that I had been talking about on the series to turn this around and actually record this podcast episode when I said I would A, is awareness just driving here. As I was driving, I could feel in my body. I was feeling this pressure, I was feeling stuck. I could feel that feeling that was like, I want to get it just right. I want this podcast episode to be perfect. So just becoming aware caught the sentence in my mind, the thoughts that I was having around recording this podcast episode. Then B, breathe. I was like, let's just take a pause. Priyanka. I know we want to do such a good job, but kicking this decision off to later writing or recording this podcast episode to later is not going to make this podcast episode so much better. I mean, maybe it would be a little bit better with my podcast mic and my notes my, maybe it would be just a little bit better, but it will be just fine. C, Courage. Let me tell you, it's not easy sitting in this parking lot where people are walking by me looking like I'm crazy, talking to myself in a camera with, listen, this is B minus work right now. You all know how I feel about high quality work. If you're an overachiever, you want high quality results, high quality execution. This is what I'm doing right now. This is B-, right? The quality of my sound is probably not the best. It's not like my podcast mic. I don't have my amazing notes where I can perfectly tell you exactly step by step the way that I wanted to. I might be repeating my on this episode because I don't have those notes, so this B- work, and I have to tell you, for someone like me who is an overachiever, who loves doing only high quality things, this feels so uncomfortable. And also welcome to feeling uncomfortable. This is where we get to practice courage, prove to our brain. It's actually okay to do B minus work, but we're getting it done. Which leads me to D. Do it anyway. Right. So I had that moment. I'm driving to CVS, I'm like, Priyanka. Wow. We're really procrastinating with this laundry detergent. I know that it feels important. I can catch, you wanna get this just right? I know your podcast is so important to you. Your listeners are so important to you. I value your time so much. I want this to be so high value. I know that understanding stress cycle responses is the gateway to your success. Talk about me feeling a lot of pressure to share this information with you, and also it was driving me to procrastinate on recording this episode, who is just, I think, just so funny, practicing courage, letting myself feel uncomfortable, letting it be imperfect, even if the words are jumbled, even if I'm repeating myself, and now sitting here in the parking lot doing it when I said I was going to do it. It feels so good because here we are at the end of the podcast episode. The intention of today's episode really is to understand that your procrastination habits or procrast to working is not happening in a vacuum. The reason that you procrastinate on the plans that you have made for yourself is because of a thought and a feeling that you're having about an obstacle, about a project, or even about your weight loss. I want to add a caveat that I think applies to all the stress cycle of responses, but really does apply to this one for you to get out of freeze, for you to get out of indecision or rumination or second guessing or overthinking your plan and your execution. You do need to have. Proper step-by-step framework, a proper plan that will not just make you a fat burner, but help you feel satisfied as you lose weight. So I think that that's really important because sometimes your body is rejecting your weight loss plan because your plan sucks. If you have a history of, you know, over restriction and a lot of diet mentality around weight loss that might be a reason that your brain is kicking up this stress cycle of response. It's trying to get your attention that this is not a strategy that is sustainable in the long run, and I thought that was really important to bring in on this specific podcast episode. You need proper planning that will make you a fat burner, knowing how to make strategic nutrition decisions, where you're getting enough food, enough of the right food to make you a fat burner while feeling satisfied so you lose weight in a way that really will last a lifetime executing on that plan, consistently understanding. The only reason that you ever don't follow through on any part of your weight loss strategy is because of a stress cycle response and knowing how to take your results on a routine basis and learn from them without drama is it's going to just game change how you lose weight.

  I hope you all have an amazing day, really start to catch where are you feeling that freeze response coming up? If you notice that it's coming up with weight loss, with picking a weight loss strategy, you might notice that desire to procrastinate on decisions, to ruminate on things, to second guess things to put off what you could do today. You might notice it coming up in other parts of your life. This is one of my favorite parts about coaching in the Unstoppable group because you know when you start to execute consistently in one area, you will start to catch those patterns in others. You start to change so many corners of your life as a busy, professional working mom, and just this response, this freeze response. If we start to understand it and overcome it, you will get back hours and hours of time per week, not just in productivity, but in mental bandwidth. I'll see you next week when we talk about the Fawn stress cycle response. It's gonna be a good one. Thanks for spending this time with me on Burn Stress, Lose Weight this podcast has seriously been one of my most favorite parts of sharing story, strategy, and science with professional women who self-identify as overachievers. I hope that you're walking away from today's podcast episode feeling a little more full of possibility. I promise that you don't need perfect circumstances in your life to feel unstoppable inside out for you to achieve that body goal that would help you feel your best. And with the right strategy and support, getting there is inevitable. This four part series really touches the heart of what gets in the way for overachieving women to achieve their weight loss goals, and I'm so glad to be sharing it with you. I have also been teasing a project that I've been working on now for many, many months. I'm going to be sharing some behind the scenes of this project over on Instagram, so if you are not yet following me, head over to @burnstressloseweight over on Instagram so you can get a hint of exactly what's coming. Burn Stress, Lose Weight has a new chapter on the horizon over the next few days or a few weeks, depending on when you're listening to this episode, and I cannot wait to share this bold vision that we have for our mission moving forward. If you enjoyed this episode and you're loving this series, share this episode with a friend and you can take a moment to leave a rating and review I would be so grateful. Come meet me over on Instagram, take a look at the sneak peek so you get a little idea of exactly what's coming, and I will see you in next week's episode. Bye my unstoppable friend.